If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is also rewarding. And faster
Multi-tasking: twice the mistakes in less time
Money can't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Ferrari
I try to cut down on the number of mistakes I make at work by coming in late.
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
Cop: "You going to a fire?" Motorist: "Trying to prevent one, officer. My boss said that's what would happen if I was late again."
Don't worry i won't tell anyone.. and if i do, i'll tell them not to tell anyone
Three of my fingers are willing to write, but my thumb and forefinger are opposed
The mind needs exercise, just like the body. That's why I'm thinking about jogging
Men are like coolers. Load them up with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Why do the call it baby-sitting when you spend all your time chasing after them?
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